SEX AND
MUSIC
PRESS “PLAY” FOR SEX
MUSIC AS SEXUAL LUBRICANT?
HERE’S WHAT WOMEN—AND
SCIENCE—TELL US
WATCH THE SEX SCENE FROM TOP GUN ON YOUTUBE. THEN HIT MUTE AND WATCH IT AGAIN. IT’S
not as hot without “Take My Breath Away,” is it? Women agree: Two-thirds of the women we surveyed said
music during foreplay helps turn them on faster. (More than half said sex lasts longer when it has a soundtrack.)
“Music sets the tempo for sex, making it more of a joint activity,” says Elizabeth Rae Larson, M.S, director of
the Seattle Institute for Sex Therapy, Education, and Research. But the wrong tunes can backfire. Women told
us you should start with sweetly suggestive music, and then ease your way into tunes that match the desired
tone of your romp—kinky, romantic, energetic. Our survey produced the playlist below. — L . R .
“Need You Now” Lady Antebellum
“Your Body is
a Wonderland” John Mayer
“Naughty Girl” Beyonc é
“S&M” Rihanna
“Best I Ever Had” Drake
“You’re Beautiful” James Blunt
PLEASURE
TIME
Desire
Arousal
Plateau
40%
OF WOMEN SAY DIR T Y LYRICS
MAKE THEM FEEL MORE
SEXUALLY ADVEN TUROUS
Sing Your Heart Out
Any guy—yes, even you!—can pull off a serenade. The key is to not take yourself too seriously. And to follow the advice of these experts.
1KNOW YOUR LIMITS Take it from a pro who knows:
“If you can barely play guitar,
don’t try to tackle a Hendrix song.
If you can barely sing, don’t try
to be Sinatra,” says country singer
Easton Corbin, whose album
All Over the Road hit shelves
in September. Keep it simple—
and show some confidence,
regardless of your vocal abilities.
“Most women just want you to
own the moment that you have
created for them,” says Corbin.
CHOOSE YOUR
SETTING CAREFULLY
Spare her the bedroom serenade.
What Corbin suggests: Build a
backyard campfire after dinner one
night and fire up your vocal cords
then. That way it feels less like an
awkward musician-audience
scene, and she won’t feel pressure
to nod or sing along as she listens.
And don’t freak if the lyrics suddenly escape you: “Just hum the
tune. It’ll still go over well with
your girl,” Corbin says. Romance
covers all flaws.
4
158 OCTOBER 2012 MEN’S HEALTH
Orgasm
Refraction
Relaxation
Time-pleasure sequence adapted from Progress in Neurobiology.
44%
OF WOMEN SAY MUSIC
ENHANCES THE SENSOR Y
EXPERIENCE OF SEX
BUT MAYBE LEARN GUITAR
Mastery of an instrument can
imply mastery elsewhere, says
Moushumi Ghose, M.A., M.F. T., a sex
therapist based in Los Angeles.
“Women really crave someone
who is fearless and who can
maneuver through the world,” she
says. Your obvious choice: guitar.
“The acoustic guitar evokes a lot of
emotion,” Ghose says. “It’s a
stripped-down instrument—
there’s not a lot of frills.” Nearly
half the women surveyed said it’s
the sexiest instrument (followed
by piano at 26 percent).
2
HAVE HER JOIN IN
A 2009 study in BMC Neuroscience
shows that when people played
music together, their brain waves
synced up. “There’s tremendous
intimacy in making music together,
and making music is very physical,”
says Meghan Hinman, M.A., M. T.-B.C.,
L.C.A. T., a psychotherapist who practices music therapy with couples.
Music engages your limbic brain,
or emotional center, and can help
you express your feelings, she
says. Bonus (maybe): “Music is
often a mirror for what’s happening in the relationship.”
5
3STOP WORRYING Our survey reveals that it really
doesn’t matter whether you
sound like Jason Mraz or Tom
Waits. What’s important is that
you don’t make the performance
too intense. Likewise, Corbin says,
“Don’t choose a song that’s too
serious. Go with one that reinforces your feelings for her, without being a clichéd wedding
song.” Ghose concurs: “Be truly
genuine and honest about what
you’re singing. That’s what can
make a connection happen.”
TAKE IT ON THE ROAD
Harness all that emotion and
physicality and go public at a
friendly karaoke gathering.
“There’s an adrenaline rush that
comes with being in front of a
crowd,” Hinman says. That makes
for a great memory, and the thrill
can carry over to the bedroom.
You can be Marvin Gaye to her
Tammi Terrell—try “Ain’t No
Mountain High Enough,” a crowd
pleaser that builds to a, well,
climax. —L.R. AND JULIE STEWART
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Images (Beyoncé), Steve Granitz/ Wireimage (Rihanna), Alexander Tamargo/Getty Images (Drake), Dave Hogan/Getty Images
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