THE BEST LIFE
THE BEST LIFE
THE GIRL NEXT DOOR
By Naomi Piercey
If I’m clicking with a girl, do I ask
for her number
or give her mine?
Ask Naomi anything:
MHGirlNextDoor (Facebook)
@MHGirlNextDoor ( Twitter)
You should ask, almost always. It’s the confident move, and she’ll be flattered.
But don’t get your hopes up: That was the general consensus among the
women I asked. If she just met you, chances are she won’t give up the digits
unless you two have chatted your way through at least one drink together.
And even if things are going well, she still may not share, especially if her girlfriends are wisecracking behind her. If that’s the situation, give her your number and ask her to text you later, when she’s not surrounded by her posse.
lucAS, MAncheSter, nh
“has it been five dates yet?”
What’s a typical
timeline for two
newly dating people
to sleep together?
frAnco, SAcrAMento, cA
There isn’t one. Each relationship develops at its own
rate, depending on each person’s experience and what
the expectations are for the
new relationship. The only
rule is that you both be on the
same page. As a ballpark,
I’d say couples usually have
sex on the fifth to 10th date.
If it takes longer than that,
don’t sweat it. (She might be
waiting because she likes
you.) Besides, you have more
important timetables outside
the bedroom. Like introducing her to one of your friends
(week 3 or so); the exclusivity
talk (a month or two); and the
serious assessment ( 6 to 8
months—she’ll want to know
she’s not wasting her time).
I’m 39 and haven’t
yet met “the one.” I
want a wife and kids
but realize I can’t
rush it. Any advice?
Scott, PittSburgh, PA
Welcome to the club, buddy.
For what it’s worth, many
women prefer guys who are
more mature, so your pool of
potential dates could realistically include women from
25 to 45. That’s a huge range!
Trust me, a lot of your married pals envy your freedom.
So stay in shape, stay interested, travel, learn—and do
everything you can to avoid
appearing lonely. Women
can smell desperation. That
said, there’s nothing desperate about online dating. The
stigma is long gone.
Why are the bitchy
women always the
hottest ones?
lArry, cookeville, tn
It’s a defense mechanism.
After years of being leered
at, felt up, and cornered by
sketch-balls in bars, an
attractive girl can develop an
icy exterior. It’s easier to
give off a “don’t even think
about it” vibe than to nicely
turn away all the men who
approach. To see her softer
side, talk to her (and her
friends) without the obvious
“I’m hitting on you” showboating. Don’t tell her she’s
beautiful, or that you’d like to
get to know her. Try my trick
shot: Ask her if she’d take
a picture of you and a friend.
Any good-hearted person
would say yes. Then ask her
how you can return the favor.
My girlfriend shuts
down when she’s
upset. What can I do?
corey, college PArk, gA
Keep it simple. Say, “I feel
bad seeing you like this. How
can I help?” Some women
need to stew alone while
many others want consolation. Just don’t hover silently
until she tells you what’s
wrong—that’ll only make it
worse. Knowing you’re there
to comfort her will probably
be solace enough.
What’s the best night
for a first date?
riley, tulSA, ok
Make it a weekend. If you
suggest having a bite during
the week, she might think
you’re saving the “good”
days—Friday and Saturday—
for someone else. Secondly,
give her a few days to kill
between the asking and the
eating. She doesn’t want to
be a last-minute decision.
Asking on Tuesday lets her
know she’s desirable and
gives you time to book a table
somewhere she’ll love. Then,
a day or two before the date,
shoot her a text (“How’s
the Trendy Table sound?”) to
make sure you don’t end up
where her ex tends bar. For
more first-date tips, see this
month’s Couples department.
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